Underage Sex Ed: How Much is “Too Much Information?”

About a dozen people gathered last night in the basement of Cascade Bible Church to hear presentations from three community members about Methow Valley School District’s middle school sex education curriculum. The presentation was organized by a local educational group called RenewED: Advocates for Student Excellence. Two community members presented sixth and seventh grade curriculums and I presented eighth grade. What follows is my presentation on the 8th grade curriculum.

Thank you for coming this evening. My name is Julia Babkina. I’m the past president of the Methow Valley PTA. During my tenure, we spoke with community members to hear their ideas about how to improve the Methow Valley School District. Surprisingly, we learned many of the changes wouldn’t require any additional funds whatsoever. We were surprised to learn what is in our middle school sex ed curriculum. Replacing our current sex ed curriculum with something more age- appropriate is one of the changes the school district can make without any additional costs.

We realized that in order to more effectively implement change, we needed to form our own group. We named our group RenewED: Advocates for Student Excellence. We have information sheets about our platform on the table there. Please pick one up. We also have a sign-up sheet if you want to be aware of our activities.

Tonight, we will be covering Methow Valley School District’s middle school sex ed curriculum. It’s a curriculum called Get Real, which was developed by Planned Parenthood League of Massachusetts. In our school district, sex ed begins in elementary school and continues in high school. Sex ed is mandated by the state, but the choice of curriculum isn’t. In our elementary and high school, the district implements a program called FLASH. It is difficult to get either one of these curriculums. You have to make an appointment with the district office and it is only available while the district office is open, which is not feasible for working parents. The district does not allow photocopies or pictures taken of the curriculum. This makes it difficult to review or discuss with spouses. You have to wonder why the district is making it so difficult to view this curriculum. Children, and let me emphasize children, are automatically enrolled in this curriculum unless a parent chooses to opt out.

Methow Valley resident Dick Ewing was able to get a copy of the curriculum to view for a limited time by contacting the publisher. I am grateful that Dick, Lori Triplett and I were able to divvy up the task of going through 470 slides to present to you tonight a summary of the sex ed curriculum for 6th, 7th, and 8th grades. Believe me, going through 470 slides, there is a lot to digest. We narrowed our presentations down to 20 minutes, one hour total, with the rest for Q&A. If questions arise during the presentation, please hold them until after the presentation. We want to use our time to relay what is in the curriculum and we will have Q&A afterward.

Without further ado, here is Dick presenting 6th grade.

8th Grade Presentation- ages 13-14

Julia Babkina

There is a lot I can present about 8th grade. There are a lot of ramifications to this curriculum, but I will try to go through it within the time frame. Eighth grade sex ed curriculum is divided into 9 lessons and I will summarize and talk about some of the more concerning material in each lesson. Let me remind folks that children enter 8th grade as 13-year-olds.

Lesson 1: Creating the Classroom Climate (Lesson titles taken verbatim from the curriculum.)

As Lori pointed out, most kids don’t talk about sex as graphically as it is taught in this curriculum. But we are entering it again in 8th grade, and we want to make sure everyone is comfortable with it. As a side note, this has parallels with grooming. Kids aren’t supposed to be comfortable with sex. They’re kids. When someone talks to them about sex or wanting to engage in sex, something is wrong. But here, it’s presented as something is right. It’s presented as normal. Lesson includes “brainstorming components of sexuality and sexual health.” There is also an Anonymous Questions Box that all students need to participate in during the nine-lesson course. If a student doesn’t have a question to submit, they are given a prompt by the teacher with the goal of getting the student to use the Anonymous Questions Box.

Lesson 2: Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships

That’s Lesson 1. Lesson 2 is entitled Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships. Teachers are advised to refer students to a school counselor. There shouldn’t be a class on school grounds that would make a child so distressed they would need to see a school counselor. Class starts out with a discussion of healthy and unhealthy relationships students have seen on TV. The curriculum teaches consent as a key part of a healthy relationship. For example, the lesson states, “Consent means ‘giving permission.’ Sexual consent requires a sober ‘yes’ from all partners, free from intimidation or pressure. Consent is an ongoing process, and a ‘yes’ to something once doesn’t mean a ‘yes’ to something always.” The problem is that these are 13-14 year old children. There is no consent to sex at age 13 or 14. Zero- zip. 

The lesson continues, “Stress that consent applies to all sexual activities, and that in order for something to be mutually consensual, all must agree to engage in the behavior. Each person has a right to define their boundaries; and, in a healthy relationship, partners respect these boundaries. This is an important part of having relationship skills.” So, if two 8th graders decide to have sex, that’s acceptable, because both consented? This is the first lesson in the curriculum after quote “creating the classroom environment.”

The lesson continues, “Leaving an unhealthy relationship can be difficult, and it’s important to get support from caring adults.” The problem here is by introducing sexual consent at such a young age, and children engaging in said activity, there is a cycle of referrals to mental health providers and Room One. Room One is providing teachers for this curriculum, but they are also getting referrals. Additionally, 27% of funding from the Public School Funding Alliance goes to mental health support. 

Lesson 3: Addressing Obstacles to Abstinence

This is a teacher’s note in the lesson plan about abstinence: “Abstinence is normal, common, acceptable and available to anyone at any time for any reason, even people who have already been sexually active.” The idea presented here is abstinence is something you can return to. There is no mention of the significance of having sex for the first time, or why it would be prudent to wait. It’s presented as a choice in this curriculum, in the same way that you would choose what you would like to have for dinner. Consent is the only prerequisite. The teacher’s note continues, “Sexual expression doesn’t have to include sexual intercourse. There are other lower-risk activities that people may choose to engage in to explore sexual feelings, by themselves or with others. If someone chooses not to be abstinent, another protection method, such as wearing a condom consistently and correctly, is important to avoid pregnancy and STIs.” [Sexually Transmitted Infections. It used to be STD, now it’s STI.]

I want you to think about someone you love with all your life. If you have several such people, choose one. Now, imagine what you would feel if that person had sex at age 13 or 14. Why are we teaching this to our kids?

A recurring theme in this curriculum is that sex is reduced to public health. The lesson plan states, “…abstinence is defined as avoiding sexual behaviors that could lead to pregnancy or STI (i.e. refraining from vaginal, oral and anal sex, and genital contact that can transmit STI.)” Sex is more than just public health and avoiding STI. There is no discussion of delaying sex because it’s the right thing to do, because that’s not what the Get Real curriculum is predicated upon. As long as there is consent, there is no right and wrong. That’s what the curriculum teaches. Another teacher’s note from Lesson 3 states: “It is up to each individual person to decide what feels comfortable sexually and what the personal limits are.”

Lesson 4: Comprehensive Protection Methods

We’ve breezed by abstinence without putting the importance of delaying sex front and center, and now we’re on to “comprehensive protection methods.” This lesson includes an instructor-led condom demonstration. Instructor must check that there are no “airborne latex allergies among students.” Again, teacher is advised to refer student to a school counselor if this material is distressing. A question for discussion includes, “What questions could people ask themselves before they decide to have vaginal, anal or oral sexual intercourse?” That’s a question for a class of 13-14 year olds.

Other questions the teacher is instructed to ask the students are

• What are three methods that require no doctor’s prescription and have no age limit for purchase?
• What is a method used for oral sex only?
• What method is a shot every 3 months to prevent pregnancy?
• What method works to prevent pregnancy of up to 120 hours after unprotected sex? (That would be emergency contraception.)
• What hormonal method is available on shelves of pharmacies and some versions can be purchased without a prescription? (Again, emergency contraception.)
• Which methods can be purchased at most drugstores and supermarkets?
• Which method works for up to 12 years to prevent pregnancy? (That would be the copper IUD.)
• Which methods are often available for free at doctor’s offices, health clinics, and some school-based health clinics or nurses offices?
• Which is the best method? (Answer: The one a person feels comfortable using correctly and consistently.)

Make no mistake about it, this lesson plan is about preparing children, and I emphasize the word children, to have sex. What is missing from these questions? It’s any parental or familial involvement. There are numerous ways of getting free birth control and emergency contraception without ever having to tell your parents.

The patch, the ring, the pill, the implant, diaphragm are all discussed in this lesson plan. Additionally, the instructor passes around the following samples to the class:

External condom, internal condom, dental dam, emergency contraception (aka morning-after pill), birth control pills, the shot (not sure how that’s passed around, but it’s listed), the patch, the ring, implant and IUD.

The teacher is asked to review “steps to correct condom use.” (Is there someone with a strong stomach in this room? There are 17 steps to condom use that I need help reading.)

1. Discuss with partner the decision to have sex.
2. Discuss protection methods with partner.
3. Check expiration date on condom.
4. Check the package of the condom for holes, tears, or any sign of damage.
5. Carefully open condom package and remove condom.
6. Penis is erect.
7. Place condom on the head of the penis.
8. Hold the tip of the condom to squeeze out any air.
9. Roll the condom down to cover the entire penis.
10. Use lubricant.
11. Have vaginal, oral or anal sex.
12. Keep condom on penis until done (whether ejaculation occurs or not).
13. Hold on to the rim of the condom at the base of the penis.
14. Withdraw the penis.
15. Carefully take the condom off the penis.
16. Throw the condom in the garbage.
17. Use a new condom if both partners want to have sex again.

The teacher is asked to demonstrate the steps with an actual condom and ask students to explain the importance of each step. The teacher is asked to “discuss places where teens can obtain protection methods for free or little cost. Explain these services are confidential and do not require parental permission.” 

Why do we have a sex ed curriculum that blatantly provides avenues for kids not to share information with their parents? 

Lesson 5: STI/HIV Transmission

There is a candy demonstration to illustrate how STIs are passed. A teacher has green candies while all the students have different color candies except green. Students are encouraged to greet one another and exchange candies. At the end of the exercise, students with green candies are told they have been infected with an STI. 

I like this quote, “Explain that this was a simulation- an activity that represents something else in real life. Clarify that people cannot transmit STIs or HIV by trading candies or shaking hands!”

The concept of multiple sequential and concurrent partners are introduced. Seven students are asked to stand in a line in front of the classroom. The student in the middle of the line is asked to shake hands with the person on the left. That person shakes hands with the person on their left, and so on. This is a demonstration of a sequential partner, or one sexual partner at a time. To demonstrate multiple partners, the same student is asked to shake hands with students on both sides. Those people shake hands with people on both sides, and so on. The emphasis here isn’t on whether having sequential or concurrent partners is right or wrong, but how to avoid STI transmission. The entire exercise is about STI transmission and nothing more.

Fellow community members, should our school district teach a curriculum that normalizes sequential and concurrent sexual partners to 13-14 year olds?

The lesson continues, and I quote from the lesson plan, “Explain that many places offer free and confidential testing for youth, and there are rapid HIV tests that give results within 15 minutes.” Again, there is an absence of parental or familial involvement or engagement. Students are being taught how to evade their parents.

The lesson states that according to the CDC, 41% of HIV diagnoses in 2016 were in people between the ages of 13 and 29.

Lesson 6: Living with HIV

This lesson is probably the tamest, as it invites a person living with HIV to speak to the class. However, the class is asked to raise their hands to a series of questions, one of them being if they had ever “been in lust.” Students are supposed to raise their hands to this question in front of their teacher and their classmates.

Lesson 7: Refusal Skills 

In this lesson, students are given scenarios, including scenarios with same sex couples to role play in the class. Here are a few examples of scenarios that students are asked to role play:

Will and Todd have been seeing each other for the past year. Will just found out that his family is planning on moving before he enters high school. [So they are still in middle school.] They both enjoy the sexual part of their relationship, which up to now has been kissing and touching each other, because Todd doesn’t feel ready to do more and doesn’t want to worry about sexually transmitted infections. Both of them have agreed to stay together once Will moves. Now Will wants to go further, especially since he will be going away in a month. But Todd doesn’t want to go any further with Will right now.

Erica and Ashley are in a serious relationship. They’ve been almost inseparable since meeting 6 months ago and share lots of interests, views and values. Erica and Ashley have enjoyed kissing and touching but haven’t engaged in any other sexual behaviors. Ashley would really like to try oral sex and wants to use a dental dam. Erica wants to have oral sex too, but thinks that the risk of STI transmission is so low, they won’t need to use protection.

And here’s one more.

Micah and Celia have been in a relationship for 6 months and recently decided to have vaginal intercourse. Celia went to the local health center where the nurse told her about the copper IUD. Celia liked that she didn’t have to remember to do anything for the IUD to work after it was inserted and that it lasted for up to 12 years. She would like Micah to use a condom to protect against STIs too, but isn’t sure how he’ll react.

Again, no mention of family or, dare I say, morals. Parents are completely out of the picture.

Lesson 8: Goals and Decision Making (This and one more lesson left.)

This lesson asks students to brainstorm who they want to become and teaches emergency contraception as an option if things don’t go as planned. The instructor is told to ask the students, “What option is available if someone forgets to use protection or uses it incorrectly? (Answer: Emergency contraception, which is more effective the sooner it is taken.) How could they obtain EC [Emergency Contraception]? (Answer: Access to emergency contraception varies by method. As of summer 2014, some pills are available on pharmacy shelves or from a health clinic for anyone of any age to purchase. Other pills are available from a pharmacist or health clinic with certain age restrictions. The copper IUD is only available through an appointment with a clinician.”

Again, no mention of parents or family.

Lesson 9: Get Real Capstone Project (This is the last lesson for Grade 8.)

In this last lesson, students are asked to complete a media project that shows positive messages from the last three years of the Get Real program. This could be a poster, public service announcement, a print ad, or something else. The teacher is asked to display the students’ media projects in a public venue such as their school or community. Please note, even though this project is completed by 8th graders, 7th graders, which are children as young as 12, are in the LBHS building and are receiving this messaging within the school. If it is in the community, children of all ages may be receiving this.

By the end of 8th grade, most kids are 14 years old. Those with summer birthdays are still 13. At age 14, sex is a downright “no.” That’s not what this curriculum teaches. Telling a child that they can set personal limits around sex, handing them power when they are still minors is not realistic, nor is it setting kids up for wholesome relationships. 8th graders should not be engaging in sex. Period.

Thank you for your time. This concludes the 8th grade curriculum.

Conclusion

Ladies and gentlemen, this also concludes our presentation of the middle school sex ed curriculum. I know it might be hard for everyone to agree on values, but this is out in left field. We have presented this and other issues in front of the school board beginning in May of this year and it has fallen on deaf ears. I encourage you to share this with others and, if you are inclined, to attend a school board meeting, which is on the second and fourth Thursday of every month at 5:30 pm in the district administration building. I encourage you to witness for yourself how the school board responds to public comments. They will listen, as they are required to, for 3 minutes but they will not respond. There is no dialogue with the present school board. If there is no dialogue, then the community needs to decide whether to continue with this course or not. Our children’s quality of life depends on it. 

If tonight’s topic resonates with you, I encourage you to sign up for our mailing list. We need help getting the community aware about these issues.

We would like to do a presentation about the parallels of grooming and this sex ed curriculum, as well as presentations of the FLASH sex ed curriculums in elementary and high school. If you would like to be informed of the dates of the next presentation or be more involved, please sign up for our mailing list. I want to thank Dick and Lori for their work on presenting this topic. And now, for Q&A. We have one mic, so please speak loudly, or I can walk up to you with the mic.

The next meeting of RenewED is Oct. 6 at 12:45 pm at Cascade Bible Church in Lehman Hall. For more information about RenewED, please see the flyer below.